A New Beginning
by T-Destiny
Summary: Katniss is back in district 12 after the war. The missing scenes that we never see as Katniss is coming to grips with her reality- and Peeta.


I don't like writing in first person- so I'm not. If you don't like it, then don't read it. That is all.

The leaves made a crunching noise as Katniss knelt beside her sister. It wasn't really her sister of course, only a memorial. A stone that she spent days carving to perfection. She had never been an artist, the only thing she could ever really do with her hands was to hunt, but she poured herself into making a suitable memorial for her sister. She carved the rock down til it had a smooth surface, and etched the name Primrose Everdeen into it as neatly as she could. Katniss had left the rock in her living room for weeks contemplating what else to say, knowing that this rock was not enough to honor her beloved sister. Nothing she could think of was good enough. Prim had been her light, the one good thing existing in the world of chaos and horror. Now she was gone. She wanted a way to express her love and devotion. Her guilt. In fact there was a long moment in which she seriously considered etching the words "Killed by Coriolanus Snow and Katniss Everdeen." But even if she could convince herself to write it, because she did believe it was true, she knew that there were others at fault as well, Coin for example. It didn't seem fair to lay blame to two specific people when others were clearly deserving as well and it made no sense to create of list of guilty people on her sister's tomb stone. Eventually, she decided instead to etch a primrose next to her name. It won't mean much to someone who doesn't know her but it will be enough invoke curiosity and depict beauty and innocent, exactly what Prim was to her. After a few days of trying to draw a suitable flower for her sister she recruited the help of Peeta who first tried to teach her to draw one, then gave up and just did it himself. It was beautiful and Katniss was glad that she had allowed him to do it. She would have never been able to give justice to her sister, but Peeta did with his beautiful blooming flower. Lastly she carved Prim's birthday and the day she died.

"I'm sorry." Katniss whispered to her sister as she did everyday. It was only a week since she had finally laid the rock in its place in the meadow. Prim's body was gone, ash in the capital, but this would her final resting place regardless and Katniss was glad it was here. Their home.

Today Katniss didn't have much to say to her sister. Sometimes she would tell her things, the things she never told her when she was alive. How much she inspired her, how scared she was, how lonely and lost. How if anyone deserved to live it had been Prim, not her. She should, truly, be dead. It is what she deserves. Today, Katniss just stared at her sister's named etched in the rock and wondered if it had all been for nothing. It all started with an effort to save her sister from the capital's games, but in the end- she failed.

So preoccupied with her thoughts Katniss barely noticed the sound of someone walking over to her. His footstep were unmistakably loud but she didn't move as she knelt beside her.

He didn't say anything. The two sat in silence for a few minutes until finally she silently reached for his hand. He took it and squeezed it gently. Katniss looked up at him finally. "Peeta." She whispered. He returned her gentle stare but said nothing. "Why do you love me?" she asked him.

He smiled sadly at her pain but merely shrugged at her question. She looked back down at her sisters name. "Not sure it's something I could really control." He said. "You had me under your spell from day one."

Katniss didn't smile. "I'm sorry." She said sadly, refusing to look at him.

He laughed lightly "for what? Me falling in love with you? I can't say that's really your fault."

She looked to him, pleading. "For everything I've put you through. It was never very fair."

He leaned in gently his lips just brushing the hair that hung around her ear "I'd never blame you, Katniss."

Suddenly she stood. "Isn't that just the problem, Peeta? You're…" she didn't know how to finish her sentence. Until, that is, she decided on something simple and undeniably true. "You're too good for me."

He smiled and sighed. "You give me too much credit."

"And you don't give yourself nearly enough."

Peeta stood beside her and reached for her hand. "How about we make a deal?" he suggested. "We start over. All debts paid. Were even. You owe me nothing."

She looked to him, unsure. "I know you feel guilty for a lot of things Katniss, but I want you to forgive yourself. At least when it comes to me. Please."

Katniss couldn't help but smile. She shook her head a little thinking about this strange deal. She had caused him so much pain in so many different ways. Pretending to love him to save her own life, using his comfort but giving nothing in return, not saving him in the second hunger games and being the reason and source of his torture and even afterwards being nothing but heartless to him. Now to make up for all of it he purposes that she merely forgive herself? That's supposed to make them even? It makes no sense when she looked at it like that but she decided that she really have the right to deny any request he gives.

"I'll try." she finally said.


End file.
